How to Avoid Breakups in relationship

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Heart-broken woman

Through the ups and downs that I have gone through in life, I have learnt a few things that I know will definitely help you make less mistakes when it comes to matters of the heart.

Pride comes before a fall. This is very true. During a fight women usually do not want to make the first move because they feel that the man will think they can't live without him, thus he will not treat them the way they want him to. Men do not do it because they view this as a sign of weakness. His friends will tell him that (amekaliwa); i.e., he can't make decisions on his own. When you are in the outs with someone that you love and you decide to go silent until the other person makes the first move, that move may never come. Both of you may wait for the other to make a move and none of you will. When your pride is stronger than your love, the relationship is likely to end. Not because you didn't love each other but because you let your pride blind you. Saying sorry even when you are not in the wrong makes you the bigger person and will go a long way in strengthening the relationship.

Another thing that I have realized ends relationships even when people are so much in love is broken promises and disappointments. When you make a promise and you do not keep it one time, it might not be that big of a deal. The other person will get mad, you will apologize and everything will be okay. When you make promises several times and you break them, no matter how much you try to show the other person that you love them, it might not work well for you. The other person may always forgive you when you apologize because they love you. Their love might not fade but the trust in you will start to diminish. They will always expect disappointments from you. They will not take any promises you make seriously. This is not good for any relationship. When someone stops caring whether you will do as you promised or not, there is a serious problem in the relationship and it needs to be fixed before the whole relationship explodes.

Spending time together is paramount for a relationship to flourish. If you do not spend enough time together, there is no way you will learn everything that you need to learn about the other person. The times that you spend with the person you love will help strengthen the bond between the two of you. Doing fun things together will enable you to enjoy each other’s company and thus make you comfortable around each other which is important. The reason why most long-distance relationships do not survive rough patches is because of the time factor. They might try to work things out but if they do not make the effort to at least see each other twice or thrice a month, the relationship is doomed to fail.

Staying in contact is also very important.There is no way you can claim to love someone is you can go for 24 hours without talking to them at least on the phone if not face-to-face. Some will say that I watch too many soap operas or read too many fiction novels and thus expect too much from the African man. The truth of the matter is that a man will give any excuse. He will say he was busy, his battery died, he forgot his phone in the car- all sorts of excuses. Women usually do not have these excuses because they love to keep in touch with the men they love. If she does not text or call more than once a day, she is definitely doing that with someone else. It is the same with men. If he doesn't call, it means that he doesn’t think of you and thus does not love you. Period!

Everyone makes mistakes. Every once in a while, there will be fights and misunderstandings. You will be mad at each other, not want to call or even see each other for the first few hours after the disagreement. When the love is true, you will miss each other even when the mistake seems unforgivable. You will go to bed with an emptiness and you probably won’t sleep a wink. I have learnt that going to bed mad at each other will make things harder and more complicated and thus stretch out what could have been a simple misunderstanding. Saying you love the other person and wishing them a good night even when they have hurt you will not only soften the ground for a reconciliation. It will show the other person that you love them and generally make things better in the relationship. That’s what I have learnt over time.

Cheers- Love and be happy :-)

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