Learn to Understand Your Wife


At this point I offer message of great importance to every husband who loves and wants to understand his wife. Whereas men and women have the same  need for self-worth and belonging, they typically satisfy those needs  differently. A man derives his sense of worth primarily from the reputation he earns in his job or profession. He draws emotional satisfaction from achieving in business, becoming financially independent, developing a highly respected craft or skill, supervising others, becoming ‘boss.’ Or by being loved and appreciated by his patients or clients or fellow businessmen. The man who is successful in this area does not depend on his wife as his primary shield against inferiority. Of course she plays an important role as his companion and lover, but she isn’t essential to his  self-respect day by day.

By contrast, a housewife normally approaches her marriage from a totally different perspective. She does not have access to ‘other’ sources of self-esteem commonly available to her husband. She can cook a good dinner, but once it is eaten her family may not even remember to thank her for it. Her household duties do not bring her respect in the community, and she is not likely to be praised for the quality of her dusting techniques. Therefore the more isolated she becomes, as we have discussed, the more vital her man will be to her sense of fulfilment, confidence and well-being.

Men derive self-esteem by being respected; women feel worthy when they are loved. This may be the most important personality distinction between the sexes.

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