THE TRUTH ABOUT INCEST
Recent statistical studies have discovered the truth about
the frequency of overt sexual relationships between children and adults in a
position of authority or guardianship. Around 30 percent of all girls have had
some sexual encounter with an adult male.
Parental exploitation of children is an unfortunate fact of
history. Such abuse is a corruption of parental responsibility and love,
therefore incest is a crime of power for which the exploiter is fully
responsible. The daughter is often accused of seduction and leading the father
into the incestuous relationship. In fact, the father usually sexualizes what
is normal child behavior and need for affection, touch and security.
Misinterpretation of the child’s intention are the responsibility of the adult.
Some have gone so far as to make out that incest is
harmless. However, studies show that most remember their experience as
unpleasant. The harmful effects of an
incestuous relationship on the girl child varies by degree according to the
length of time during which sexual contact takes place, if associated with
physical pain and violence, and the closer the relationship of the adult male.
The most common complaint is a feeling of being different
from other people and that they can never be normal. This sense of isolation
and alienation stems from the secretive nature of the affair as well as the
guilt and shame which silence brings with it.
Some embrace their identity as sinners with defiance and
pride and so become sexually promiscuous. They see sex as a sure way of getting
attention. The incest experience leaves them with the feeling that they are
good for little else except sex.
Those victimized in childhood show an impaired ‘sexual
self-esteem’, resulting in sexual difficulties in marriage. The memory of
incest is intrusive as paralyzing and disturbing flashbacks or memories occur
as they make love with their husbands. Some report feelings of disgust with
sex, especially if the incest was with relatives. Incest victims can develop a
lesbian identity, although the majority remain heterosexual.
The majority of incest victims tend to overvalue and
idealize men, which is often how they related to their father. All daughters
seem to receive favored treatment from their father – gifts, privileges,
exemption from punishment, and spending long hours in the exclusive company of
the father. These attentions offer compensation for what is the alienation
towards mother, and alliance with father is often aided by the fact that as
‘little mother’ the daughter becomes his confidant. She begins to sympathize
with the father’s feeling of deprivation and complaints against the mother.
Because the daughter also feels slighted and neglected by the mother it does
not take much to take his side. This affinity with men is, therefore, a
continuation of an unnatural intimacy with the father.
