What are the Barriers to Sexual Fulfilment?

During the period in which a newly married couple are becoming sexually adjusted to each other, problems sometimes arise. In many cases these problems are allowed to continue without an attempt at finding solutions and as such definite barriers are formed. These then curtail the pleasure  and joy of complete fulfilment in marriage.

Four such barriers include:

Premature Ejaculation. A simple definition of this term is a man's inability to control or hold ejaculation until the wife can also be sexually satisfied. First, honest, open discussion of the problem is necessary and then working together on some simple physical exercises.  These will provide practice in learning to slow down ejaculation.

Impotence. Is the inability of the husband to achieve or keep an erection sufficient for intercourse. The solution to this sexual barrier is a  three-way approach - talk, touch and tease.

First Step involves husband acceptance of the problem and should involve his wife in an open and honest discussion of the problem and deciding how to attempt a solution together.At this point the couple must again begin to enjoy fondling, caressing, cuddling and being close to each other without any other demands.During this time the wife without making the husband feel  inferior, she must be responsive, seductive and determined to help her husband regain his confidence. Together they can make their sex life even more enjoyable than before the problem arose.

Fatigue. Simple fatigue is the most common cause of decreased sex drive in the normal man. Episodes of failing to achieve erection because of fatigue may trigger the condition of impotence. This not only affect husbands but also wives. Whether the wife works outside the home or within as a housewife, she too can find her sexual life seriously affected.

Fortunately enough, this barrier does not have to be as serious as the first two because it can be more easily controlled. It simply requires a wise husband and wife working to help each other maintain composure and regain strength at the end of a busy day.

Self esteem. This barrier again can affect both husband and wife. It refers to the way one feels and thinks about him or herself. A person's self  esteem is dependent on many external as well as internal factors. A woman's feeling of self-esteem depends largely on whether or not her husband makes her feel loved and important. This then is a must for husbands if the  sexual life is to be pleasant and fulfilling one.

An area that a wife must consider as playing a necessary role in enhancing her husband's self-esteem is that of being the initiator at times of the love-making act. Many wives are satisfied to allow the husbands always to  be the aggressor. This does not have to be, and in fact most men wish it to be otherwise.

Article by: Geoffrey O. Nevine

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