Activating sex-life after giving birth
Your sex life is another part of your life that will change
as you adjust to being parents. Learning to share and care about each other in
a new way can deepen your relationship, and allow you to find each other again.
A new baby turns a woman into a mother, a man into a father,
and a couple into a family. But the “couple” is still there.
Some couples have trouble working out a new relationship
that feels good to both of them. You are not alone. As it was during pregnancy,
good communication is the key. Talk about how you feel. Be as open with each
other as you can. A sense of humor helps, too.
Most new mothers are ready to have intercourse when their
stitches have healed and the discharge from their vagina is clear. Couples
often try new positions to help them cope. Many new mothers are so tired that
they lose interest in sex. Many new fathers feel the same way. If mothers are
going through postpartum blues, this will also reduce their interest in sex.
We all need to be touched and held. Many new mothers find
that caring for the baby meets their need to be touched. They find that they
have little left for their partner. This can upset a man who is used to a close
and warm relationship.
Why do babies seem to wake up just when you start to make
love? This makes some people think they should forget about sex. Remember that
your baby will soon be sleeping all night, or at least long enough for you to
enjoy yourselves.
All of these feelings will pass. Talk to each other. Say “I
love you” often. Try to keep romance alive by spending time alone with each
other. Going for a walk, driving in the car, or going out for coffee can help
remind you that you are friends and lovers as well as parents.