Preparing for parenthood
Pregnancy. Childbirth. A new baby. Few experiences in life
have as much impact on someone as becoming a parent. A new child brings new
worries, new challenges and new stresses. Yet it can also bring new feelings,
new understandings and new joys.
How to prepare for parenthood?
Recognize that it is normal to feel emotional highs and
lows. As excited as you may be, it is easy to become overwhelmed by concerns
about the impact this baby will have on your life.
Discuss any worries you may have with someone you trust and
feel comfortable with. It is normal to wonder about such things as whether or
not you will be a good parent or whether the baby will be healthy. All parents
need help - do not be afraid to ask.
Discuss with your partner who will do what household and
childcare tasks and why. Make a list.
Negotiate but don’t keep score. Focus on giving each other support in order to
create a healthy, positive home for you and your child.
Talk about and plan for your family’s financial needs.
Children cost money! Discuss now how you’ll spend or save money. Set a family
budget. Seek advice from a financial advisor if needed.
Discuss with your partner what your views are of parenting,
including the roles and responsibilities of each person, discipline, family
values, etc.
Discuss how you will find the balance between being a couple
and being parents. Plan how you will make time to talk with each other and give
yourselves regular couple “check-ups.” Continue to make couple time a priority.
Line up a good support system. Who can you ask for help and
advice, especially in the first few weeks after birth?
Learn about child development so you can approach parenting
your child with positive and realistic expectations.
Come to terms with your own childhood. Consider seeking
professional help if it involved abuse or neglect.
Get information on preparing for parenthood or caring for a
newborn child. Attend prenatal classes.
Plan for your career and work after the birth. Discuss who
will work and why, explore options related to work and begin planning for
future adjustments.
Strive to be flexible, patient and forgiving.
Learn from other parents. Take the opportunity before baby
arrives to get information from couples who have just had a baby. Ask them
questions like:
• Was there some information that you wished you had been
told before you had the baby? What was it?
• In preparing for the birth of your child, is there
anything that you wish you had done differently?
• What did you do to make those first few days at home with
the baby easier?
• How do you manage to have time together as a couple now
that your baby is here?
Communicate your feelings and frustrations regularly. Don’t let them build up and cause
resentment.
Making a healthy transition from partners to parents will
help you strengthen your relationship and provide a positive, caring
environment for your new child. Welcome to the adventure that is parenting!
Source: Brotherson, Sean (2004). Preparing for Parenthood.
Retrieved July 13, 2012 from www.ag.ndsu.edu/pubs/yf/famsci/fs601.pdf
