For Happy Marriage Life: Go for what you need not what you want!

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Happy couple with kid

Sometimes what you want and what you need in a partner are two different things all together. God will lead you to the kind of partner you need and not the one you want.

The kind of person you want is purely based on blind love and outward appearances whilst the kind of person you need will be given to you by God based on the kind of person you are and with respect to the kind of assignment or mission He has for you.

Before God gave Eve to Adam, He said He was going to get him a help meet; someone suitable for him with respect to who Adam was and what He created him to do.

So God gave Adam the woman he needed and gave Eve also the man she needed. This made them suitable partners. They were different alright but yet couldn’t live without each other.

Even when Eve caused Adam so much grief and pain by influencing him to eat the forbidden fruit, he didn’t abuse, beat, hit or divorce her. He still lived with her and continued to love her just as he did before their sinful act.

But what do we see in present day marriages and relationships? At the little offends, one partner will begin to insult, abuse, beat or break up the relationship.

But couples who know that the person they are with is not the one they want but rather the one they need, they handle them with care and respect. This is because they believe that person is in their lives for a reason and a purpose and not to enjoy sex with them then later dump them off.

When you marry the kind of person you need, he or she will complement your weaknesses and will not accuse you for who you are whilst if you marry the kind of person you want he or she will not be able to complement or understand you and that alone will generate more tensions and conflicts in the marriage.

When God gives you the kind of person you need, that person will have weaknesses, flaws and limitations but you will be able to handle him or her.

But when you go after someone you want because of outward looks, you will struggle with his/her weaknesses because you don’t have what it takes to handle the person.

God who knows you very well and knows what is good for you and what you can handle and not able to handle, will lead you to the kind of person you need who will be able to understand and accept you. But if you lead yourself because you are blinded by love, then prepare to live your marriage life always unhappy.

Many unhappy couples in marriages are living with people they want and not those they need. What they saw about their partners that made them to think they are going to enjoy their marriages only turned out to be their source of unhappiness.

Your success and happiness in marriage depend on whether you marry someone you want or need. There are certain people your make up cannot handle them, likewise they also can’t handle you.

This is one important reason why you should be very careful when you are about choosing a life partner. Because what you need will be different from what you want.

Therefore, instead of following beauty, profession or colour to date or marry, learn to follow God and facts before deciding to settle down in marriage with someone. If not you are going to be part of those unhappy couples who are always quarrelling and accusing each other. They are always fighting each other and claiming their partners are responsible for their unhappiness in the marriage.

Deep inside them, they are not happy about their marriage but still have to be in it all because they followed what they wanted instead of going for someone they needed.


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