Five things no one will ever tell you about sex

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Five things no one will ever tell you about sex

Finding good sex balance between spouses despite differing desires, libidos and experiences can be a challenge and many couples are faced with this problem without knowing where to go or who they can speak to.

Sexual matters are very private and it is not easy opening up to just anyone. It helps to candidly address each others’ needs, acknowledging needs and expectations purposing to work through any challenges together, after all, you are in this for a lifetime. Living in denial and not facing up to the real issues will ultimately rock the foundation of any marriage.

You are not alone and there are many couples today struggling with sexual dysfunctions. Generally, this happens when one spouse desperately longs for more romance, foreplay, craves for an intimate touch, more elaborate sex, physical closeness and the other partner is preoccupied and ignores their partner’s needs. It need not be this way. A sex starved marriage may be as a result of differing libidos’ due to the following reasons;

• A low self-esteem, anger, guilt disappointment, hurt and resentment as a result of unresolved conflicts

• Hormone fluctuations, physical and emotional health challenges and aging

• Prescribed medications such as antidepressants and birth control pills

• Alcohol and drug abuse

• Grief due to a loss of a loved one, a job or finances

Loss of sexual desire known as hypo active sexual desire disorder is a sexual dysfunction common among women of all ages. Studies indicate that nearly a third of women aged 18-55 suffer from loss of sexual desire. Unlike men who suffer erectile dysfunction, women’s biggest sexual problem is caused by a combination of psychological and physiological factors.

Research on this topic has explored the causes of sexual dysfunction in men and women and suggested effective therapies for both sexual aversions may be general or specific depending on the response to any sexual stimulus, overt or covert;

Interventions include;

Hormonal estrogen therapy

Lubricants feminine arousal oils and vaginal moisturizers

Cognitive-behavioural therapy helping to reduce the negative attitudes, help relaxation reducing anxiety. Awareness breeds freedom and permission to dismiss inhibitions and enjoy the union. Practice makes perfect, explore options and enhance communication.

Expression of feelings one to another and exploring various intimacy options. As the above happens, the fear and guilt in the relationship and around sex will dissipate. Love is what transforms sex from simple physical gratification to an amazing experience of joining with your partner.

Sex is important, allow yourself to be vulnerable, purpose to fulfill one another and thrive! It’s your only option. If necessary seek medical attention.

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