Single and Searching Despite Being a ‘Wife Material’


Single and Searching Despite Being a ‘Wife Material’

Did someone send a memo defining the new meaning of ‘wife material’? If yes, then I missed the memo. Kindly resend it; I need to see the new rules and abide by them. What do men really want? I have enough female friends who are ‘wife material’ and are still not only single but searching too.

They have confessed to me that a lot of their male friends tell them they are wife material. These same men telling them they are wife material are dating women who are not wife material.

Why are they not marrying them instead of giving them hopes and leaving them there? Why would you go to the market for groceries and talk well of all the fresh ones then pick none and instead head home with a rotten one? How do you think those fresh ones in the market are feeling? Nkt!

I need to have a one on one with two or three men to explain to me like a three-year-old what exactly they look for in a woman before deciding to marry her.

Men should realize that it is not easy sitting on a shelf in a supermarket to be seen and not to be bought! Buyers walk in, admire you, praise you and then walk out carrying your opposite! Why the hell would you come and admire me if you do not want me? If you are not going to buy me, avoid my shelf like plague!

Some of us women have followed the advice of not only our parents but our ancestors too. We don’t answer back at men, we do not yell all the time, we are very good when it comes to house chores and above all, we respect our bodies.

Look where we are right now... the singles corner. With no bling on any of our fingers, not even engagement rings. Don’t tell me we are ugly because we both know beauty is skin deep.

Take time and have a look at all your female friends. Just do a random research and see how many ‘bad girls’ are married and how many ‘good girls’ are still holding on to hopes and ageing while at it.

Age is just a number when you are in your twenties and having several men asking you out. Once you hit 30 and can see no serious man around, you realize that age is not just a number! It’s a beast that attacks you each night before you go to bed and every morning when you wake up.

By the way, what really happens to men? When we women are in out twenties, you hover around us like vultures ready to take us to your parents.

All of a sudden you disappear when we hit 30! The few that show up do not want to get married; they just want to have a good time as they explain the ‘problems’ they are having with their younger girlfriends.

Unfortunately, just like an Indian’s grave, you will seldom come across a man who is willing to marry. The only ones who show up at your doorstep every morning with gifts wanting to marry you as a second or third wife are men in their 60s and 70s. Surely! We are not looking for ancestors, we are looking for husbands...fathers to our children, not grandfathers!

Those husbands we are looking for unfortunately have a different definition of wife material. Since birth, the society has taught us that a lady should not drink herself silly, date more than one man, disrespect her man, go clubbing all night, engage in drugs and much more.

If I take a keen look at the women surrounding me, all those with these characters have found their Mr. Right and are living happily ever after just like Cinderella. Those ladies who grew up doing the opposite are still holding on hoping that their star will shine someday. Who wants the star to shine on a wrinkled face? The more we age, the greater the chances of getting married to our ancestors.

You see a good man with all the qualities of a good husband dating a lady I can only refer to as Kalewa and before you know it, they are having a wedding and you are invited. One year down the line they have a beautiful family and you are still on the supermarket shelf being praised.

As I sit and pen this down, I pray that at least one man will come out and explain to us what they really want. We are running out of time...tick...tock!
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