You might not see anything wrong with this, but this is not a victimless crime. Somebody is getting hurt. You are robbing that man and his family of their time together. I know what you might be thinking at this point that you don’t owe them any loyalty, right? He does. This is like buying stolen goods and saying, “As long as I don’t know the people it was stolen from, it’s not my problem.” Ask yourself if you are ok with being that girl. I don’t know if that is a comforting thought for you or anybody with a conscience.


Let’s talk about the impact that this relationship might have on you, if not now, then later. I know that you have convinced yourself that you want nothing more from him than what you are getting right now. But the more time you spend with this man, the more you will start feeling that you don’t want to be without him. You will eventually get to a point where you are bothered by only speaking to him during office hours, and want to pick up the phone at 9 pm because you had a bad day. There will come a time when you are tired of him grabbing his clothes and running after a passionate time together because he has to rush back home. That is not a great place to be. You might not be bothered by any of those things right now but at some point, they will creep up.


We are emotional beings. There may come a time when you want more from him than he is able to give you. You will demand that he leaves his wife because you are tired of being his secret. And from that point on, you are on a slippery slope. There is no winning in that scenario. What is the worst case scenario? He refuses and you are heartbroken. And what is the best case scenario? He leaves her and you become the official new woman in his life? Will you ever rest easy, knowing that the side chick position is now vacant? Will you ever trust him, knowing what he was doing with you? If he cheated with you, he is quite capable of cheating on you! That is a fact.


Being in your position can scar you. It can lead you to carry some serious trust issues into future relationships. So even if you leave him and date other people, you cannot unlearn all the things you know now. You know that he needs to deceive his wife in order to be with you right now. Now imagine what it will be like the day the shoe is on the other foot.

The day that you are a wife and your man tells you that he’s going to “a conference”. Will you not feel worried, knowing that your (current) man was using the same excuse to get away from his family and be with you? It may all seem like roses right now, but how long will it last? In the meantime, you are shutting the door on all guys who might be interested in you. The man who is truly meant for you might be knocking on your door but you won’t hear him because you are preoccupied with somebody else’s man. I can’t tell you what’s going to happen in the future, but the least I can do is warn you of the possible consequences
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