Whether you’ve been married for seven weeks, seven years or celebrating your seventieth, there’s always something you still don’t like about your marriage. If it’s something you can change, go ahead but if it’s something out of your control, then live with it and make a compromise.

Companies who are making lots of profits still wants to make more even more profits. Scientists who have made amazing discoveries don’t stop researching. So, why should your marriage be any different? Even if all is well today, there’s no guarantee that things will stay the same ten years from now.

Your marriage is a continuous project, you never sign off and handover. There’s always an issue you are struggling with individually, a few you both are involved with or a couple he’s sorting out on his own. To move your marriage from ‘Good’ to ‘Great’ isn’t an overnight swipe of a magic wand but a continuous push to see your dreams come true.

Don’t Stop Doing The Things You Started At The Beginning

It’s so easy to put your best foot forward when dating and soon after you move in, you begin to drop the ball. ‘After all I’m married’, you might think, and ‘what’s the point in keeping with all this rituals and routines’? When conflict ensues or you start drifting apart, you can always tell when the disconnection happened and why. Don’t stop the special love texts, calling ever so often just say ‘he’s special’. Don’t be too busy to plan the dates, go see a movie or eat out. Have a hobby you both share, whether it’s playing tennis or swimming, keep enjoying each other’s company and common interests.

Never Take Your Spouse For Granted

After a while the luster of a new marriage gradually fades off and the reality sets in. You soon begin to notice your differences and what little things irritate you. If you don’t quickly address these as not new to any marriage or blow it out of proportion, then you’ll begin to have major issues. When you begin to disrespect your spouse, it won’t be long before you start to take him for granted. You not only stop doing all the things you were doing at the beginning, you’ll begin to make sure you don’t even do the basics intentionally.

Keep The Unity, Just The Two Of You

Trust me, it’s tough to have uninterrupted peace and unity when two strangers from different backgrounds with opposing expectations stay together. But is it possible? Yes. It’s going to take a lot of concerted efforts from you both to make this happen. It’s going to take at least you to decide to keep the peace as there will always be an issue no matter how little that wants to steal the peace and quiet. Even when conflicts ensue, you both must be matured enough to reach out and reconcile. Don’t wait till your differences are irreconcilable and you sadly walk away from all you’ve built together.

Be Flexible And Willing To Try New Things

Surely after a number of months or even years of being married, the humdrum sets in. You’ve been there, tried it and you’re tired of the routine. Then it’s time to make the step change. Little things like redecorating the house, changing the colors around the rooms or even your routine might add some spice to your relationship. You might have to try Chinese or Japanese meals when next you’re out in town and who knows you might really not only enjoy the meal but the time together. Your special times together shouldn’t be left out, never let it get dull and dry, continue to explore new locations and positions.

Take A Break Regularly To Rest, Relax, and Recharge

The average couple who has a 9-5 job is too exhausted at the weekend to spend quality time together or are grappling with so many dependants squeezing out their hard-earned cash and they are unable to afford opportunities for rest and relaxation. You never know you need a break till you actually take one. When you return and you continue to refer to what a wonderful break it was, then it really was. Going away together without the kids, work or lingering family issues will provide the opportunity to bond again. It never has to be the expensive vacation that would break the bank but regular times to take off before your relationship begins to go south.

Get Help Before Your Relationship Breaks Down

Many people go to the hospital only when they are ill and sometimes which could be very late. A few others go to see the doctor regularly just to check that all is well and most times are able to detect when something begins to go wrong. You don’t want to wait till when your marriage is about to hit the rocks before you get help. It will be great to speak to a mentor couple you both respect from time to time. Attending marriage conferences and reading books together will ensure you both get exposed to what will help and mend your relationship before it’s late. Never be too proud to get help, no one knows it all and there’s always someone out there who can help.

Forgiveness: The Antidote For A Breakup

If you speak to anyone who’s just enduring and not enjoying their relationship, you’ll quickly notice there’s lots of anger and bitterness and no forgiveness. They hide behind expensive cars and houses but they have since lost the spark in their relationships. Forgiveness is tough but it opens both hearts to give and receive love again. Some spouses could be impossible and it might seem that you’re the only one offering to forgive each time. Keep at it and keep the peace, who knows if and when his heart might change and he’ll see the error in his ways. Never give up on him even you aren’t perfect and still do things he isn’t proud of.
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