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Seriously if your husband isn’t happy because you make more than he does, then either he wasn’t much of a happy individual, to begin with, or you are doing something wrong and it stops right now.

Men are only human too and under a whole lot of pressure, I mean MAN is basically an acronym for Morning. Afternoon. Night. The man has to take ²⁴/₇ responsibility whether he likes it or not both to his nuclear family (You and the kids) and extended family (His folks and yours). So cut the brother some slack by doing the following.
  1. Embrace your femininity: You are the woman, act like it, just because you earn more doesn’t make you wear the pants in the relationship. He has his responsibilities and you have yours, there should be a clear and concise distinction between the two, doing more than your share gives the indication that you find him inadequate and not necessary.
  2. Acknowledge and appreciate him: Compliment him every now and then and appreciate his strengths, efforts, and position, while letting him know you understand that it isn’t easy. Let him know that you value his presence in your life, your relationship together, his relationship with the kids and his relationship and support with and to your family.
  3. Show your support: Never take charge of any situation when he is present or do things in isolation. Let him be the one to direct the situation or give over control to you. Always discuss whatever decisions that need to be taken: discretely between yourselves. Ensure to always let him be aware when it concerns both of you or the children because he will feel betrayed when he hears it from an outside source no matter how inconsequential you thought it was, to begin with. Trust me he will hear of it, its the Nigerian Aproko/Amebo News Report always at work.
  4. Never discuss your job or your paycheck: Chances are he already knows, discussing it in detail will come across as bragging or a direct challenge which will either put him on the defensive or make him feel as if you are putting him down, that he is inadequate to the general scheme of things. Men are just as sensitive as women when it comes to finances. Discuss instead the things you like about your job, ask his advice if you are dealing with a difficult colleague or boss, let him comfort you when you are facing conflict at work or feeling insecure, things he can relate with.
  5. Always let him pick up the check: When you go out on a date or with the family, let him pay the bill. Even when it is from your joint account, let him pay, unless it has been previously agreed upon for you to do so or you have decided to alternate who picks the tab on each outing. You do not know who is watching.
  6. Have a Joint account: It is always safer to do so regardless of who earns more because it isn’t the only account either of you will maintain.
  7. Put him first: Always take his feeling into consideration before any decision is made even if it means making the kids wait, or not taking action when there is a presumed crisis. When you are together, put down your phone and your iPad and give him the desired quality time and focus that he needs, even if it is just playing video games together or watching football games that you absolutely hate.
  8. Adore him: Catch his eye and wink or smile, make dates for intimacy and steam up the bedroom. Remind him of why you think he is hot, give him hugs and have cuddle time sporadically, tell him how he makes you happy and communicate with each other.
  9. Be supportive of his own time: Do not begrudge him hanging out with his guys or hobbies that exclude you such as football, basketball, pool etc. Even guys need some time to unwind.
  10. Be thoughtful: when you get things for yourself or the kids always get something for him too, calling him to say ‘I stopped at so and so and we are getting ice-cream should I get one for you or what should I get for you?’ goes a long way just watch the ripple effects.
It is not always easy to do some of these things but in relationships kindness and consideration is reciprocal and while we are forced to be vulnerable in ways we are unfamiliar with, it’s worth giving it a shot for a happier marriage.

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