Left My Marriage 10 Days Ago and I'M Enjoying My Victory!



I haven't been here in a while and wanted to provide an update and some hope for those stuck in abusive marriages and one-sided relationships.

Married over 10 years in a zombie bedroom. Passionless and mechanical weekly sessions. My attempts to spice things up were met with "no" "don't" "stop" "I don't like it" and "ewwwwwwwww".

I believed in the family and life we were building so I'd tough it out. I'd sacrifice my own happiness for the greater good. It sounds great if you can find better ways to cope. I couldn't. Online porn, pot, and vodka helped me cope.

Chore play turned into me doing 75% of the chores and taking care of the kids -- in addition to working 60 hrs a week on my regular job, running a company on the side and getting my MBA.

When I expressed myself my feelings were dismissed, I was shamed or gas-lighted or told that "You're lucky we even have sex. Most women don't like sex."

"Everyone thinks your crazy to throw away over 10 years of marriage." "Everyone thinks there must be someone else." "What about the kids? The dogs? Our extended families?" And my favorite, "Everyone says you're partly to blame for this. After the last time, you should have been more involved and kept an eye on me.") I didn't budge or fall for her usual tactics.

Regardless, we told our kids 3 Saturdays ago (the toughest thing I've ever had to do). Two Saturdays ago I moved out and back in with my mom (will bank all my cash while living there). I'm 40 living at home -- guess what. I'm happy.

I miss my kids. I miss my dogs. I miss my house. That's it. I don't miss my wife at all.

In fact, the Monday after moving out I put a profile on match.com. Within two hours, I had gotten some likes and a few messages. I was intrigued by one woman and we talked more and she then gave me her cell and we started texting (She's 40, has a career and is gorgeous. She's also very funny and can carry on a decent conversation).

We went out last Sunday night and are going to dinner this coming Saturday. I'm actually shocked at how fast this occurred

So for some of you who think it's too late or feel trapped or are afraid of the unknown, know that you have options.

You don't need to be unhappy. It's not your fate or lot in life. You do not need to sacrifice your happiness for others (I did this for years).
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