A NEW CHAPTER: I don’t have the energy to hide my genuine self anymore

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African woman

My my my, it’s been a while. So I’m writing this piece in regards to the past 8 months of the single life, which I have ENJOYED! I had some desires and habits I had to kill in order to be who God has called me to be, and accomplish what He has planned. So forgive me for not being accessible, I just wanted to get my spirit aligned with the will of God.

My ex tainted me. I lost respect for men, and hope in love. I wanted to please so I mimicked the person I was with. I bent over backwards trying to do all of this stuff...be this girl and do this, that, and the other, and allow myself to be disrespected all because I was in love. I forgot that a person falls in love with you for you, with your genuine self. But as I look back, I now know exactly why it had to happen. God will only wreck your plans when He sees your plans are about to wreck you. I am so thankful for His mercy.

Now that I’m wiser I don’t have the energy to hide my genuine self anymore. I come like this. This is who I am. My ex taught me that I can do better. That’s when I realized what a true relationship was. Someone who would always love you.

The imperfect you.

The confused you.

The wrong you.

Because that is what people are suppose to do. Every choice you make determines the standards you accept in your life. So this post will the very last time my ex is mentioned, thought of, or spoken about. I’ve come to terms with what is my now….and I’m relishing in it.

In those 8 months of being single, I chose to stay focused on self and career. I emptied myself to start over. During this process, I unexpectedly met a guy. Do you ever just think about the first time you met someone and compare it to where you guys are now? And it’s like “damn, who knew this would happen?”

My friends, this guy is different. You see, he’s a King. Not only does he protect me, he also protects my peace. It feels good to finally connect with a King who doesn’t come with baggage…not even a single carry on. There is no perception of time with us. There are no broken hearts with us and no one is outshining the other. We value connection. Not the superficial idea of a relationship. A relationship should release you from insecurities, not entangle you in them. The little things? The little moments? — they aren’t little. Watching my King is motivating. Hearing him is intriguing. His effort is a reflection of his interest in me.

I love him for making me feel loved.

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