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Went to the gynecologist, she picked me apart, bullied me, shit on my life choices, questioned my sex life, victimized me with her stupid words, then sent me home, after doing no tests.

I went to a gynecologist for the first time last Thursday. It was awful. I went in for painful erratic periods and allergies to period products. I'd waited for months to see her. I was pretty jazzed to finally get some answers! My periods have been like this since I was 12, and I was finally going to get some answers.

I walked in and waited for the doctor. In came the nursing student, whom the doctor legally has to ask my permission to have the appointment with me. I was not given a choice, but I didn't protest because I always let them in any way, it's a good learning experience! It just would have been nice if they asked. I talked to the nursing student, she took notes, pretty standard: allergies, medications, height, weight, have I been pregnant, have I had any STIs, have I had any surgeries, do I have any physical health problems, and mental health problems, the usual, and I answered everything. Then the doctor came in.

Girl, when I tell you I still have no idea what the fuck happened, I mean it. She asked me all the same questions, fair enough, she wanted to make sure the student was thorough. I could have just left, and didn't have to take this, but again, it was my first time at the gynecologist and I thought this must be normal. I'm mad that I didn't question, cause that's how you get fucked over, but, it happened the way it happened.

Basically, I'm just upset. The whole appointment was about my sex life from several years ago. She also for whatever reason couldn't use the word "nunu" around me? She kept referring to it as my "bottom". (Mostly just irks me, but I guess it's whatever....) It was unacceptably unprofessional the way she acted. But I was willing to put up with all of this, just so I could have some tests done. No tests were done.

She asked, "do you shave your bottom?" (Spoileezzzz she meant nunu.) I said "yes". This lady shook her head no for literally over 45 seconds and then said "no honey. That's your problem, stop shaving. That's why your skin gets irritated with pads." So I told her, no, we've been over this, I'm allergic to sweat, (did you even read my file?) pads create sweat, so I get a rash. And, funny enough, shaving doesn't give me rashes the rest of the time when I'm off my period, so what the hell are you talking about? I still got rashes before I started shaving, so what the hell are you talking about? (I was more civil about it though, obviously.) She kept saying "I've never had a patient come to me where every part of her bottom has pain. Never." cue the awkward head shaking again as if it solves anything.

She suggested all of the things our moms tell us growing up about making periods easier, like, use lube if a tampon won't fit, etc. I told her I've tried them, she ignored it, and said: "try them, and stop shaving." I said "not trying to shoot down your ideas, but I'm not going to stop shaving. The hair irritates me. And I don't like the look of it." Then came the body image issues assumptions and lectures. "So you strike me as a very self-conscious person," I said "No, I have issues with my body, as does everyone. But when I don't like something about my body, I change it. If I can't change it myself, I get it tattooed or pierced. It's not insecurity, it's empowerment. I take charge of my appearance. Yes, I have some compulsions with my body. But I'm working on them, and I'm in a good place with them. She then asked me to show her my tattoos and piercings. I showed her one. Then she cut me off with another unwarranted body image lecture, (same one as before just worded differently) then finished it with "but honey, you're still not comfortable in your own skin. Come back to see me in the new year. If you want me to be scarier, I will. Do you want me to be scarier?" (Lady, please. Don't flatter yourself. I spent my 14 years getting into random guys’ cars, you may be a little "tough" by your standards, but you do not scare me.)

So, I would have been FINE with all of this, had she then said "okay, get on the table. Time for some tests." Or even "are you cool with us doing some tests?" But no. She said, "you know; you don't have to be ready for the speculum right now." I chimed in with "I am." She said, "I have some patients that I see for years before doing an exam." I said, "I don't want that." She replied: "some women I have to take into the OR to get the speculum in!" I said, "look at my chart, you'll see I'm more than up to date on all my STI tests, they use a speculum for that, and I'm fine with it." She didn't reply and sent me home.

She even said multiple times "I'm going to give you some products to try, okay?" Multiple times, and didn't. I take good care of my vagina. I'm at the doctor anytime anything happens down there that I can't fix with apple cider vinegar, a couple of days of going commando, and coconut oil on everything. I'm no stranger to speculums. No tests were done, the only thing she did was bully me into feeling like a broken woman for an hour, silence me when I tried to speak up for myself, and then when I refused to let her bully me, she sent me home. She did no tests and sent me home feeling confused, and like shit. It's been a week, and my mental health has been rocked by this bitch. I've been self-conscious, crying a lot, and as you could easily guess, STILL IN A LOT OF VAGINAL/UTERINE PAIN. I get why she was trying to err on the side of caution with the trauma history, but in so many ways she was being so insensitive, why would she draw the sensitivity line in the sand at actually doing her job?!

exhales. Wtf. The bottom line, I am pretty emotionally healthy. I am not a child. I can handle the word ‘nunu’. I am not broken. And we are not 12-year-old friends who just learned that we can shorten the word "people" to "peeps". (Jesus lord, I'm surprised she didn't turn her chair around backward and straddle the back of the chair like "cool teachers" do, with all the r/fellow kids shit she was pulling.) I do not need to hear about your "bastard ex-husband", and WE ARE GROWN UPS, SHUT UP AND LOOK AT MY VAGINA.

Also read: Vaginal discharge and it's meaning.

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