I just wish I had given myself a little more time to think

African woman stressed

Everyone’s situation is different, I accept that. I just wish I had given myself a little more time to think.

For a lot of mothers, aborting a child is an unthinkable act, since you're essentially killing an unborn child if you undergo an abortion.

But for one reason or another, some moms choose to undergo an abortion. While some of them have moved on from their abortion, others have regrets about their decision.

I had a medical abortion three weeks ago. Sadly, I regret every minute of it. I knew I was pregnant days before I bought the test. I felt different. The crunch came when I did a 10k fun run at work and felt like was carrying a small fish bowl inside of me all the way around the course! The next morning, I did the test and my fears were confirmed. I had been seeing my new partner for just three months - how on earth could I tell him what had happened?!"

I confused about my pregnancy. I was scared, at 37 with no children and a new partner, I was feeling confused. One close friend kept saying it was meant to be, another saying it was too soon.

I then went to consult with my doctor, he said that having an abortion at my age was a big decision. Especially since I was already 37 years old, so having a child at my age is not only difficult but also risky for both the mother and the baby. Regardless, I stood firm with my decision to abort my child, and thankfully my partner was also supportive of my decision. Sadly, I later came to regret my decision.

I was given 4 pills that I was to insert in my vagina in order to start the abortion process.

I went back the next day for my first tablet, felt fine apart from the continued sickness and went home to bed. The following morning, I returned and took the four tablets to the toilet and inserted them as instructed. I felt numb at this point and just caught the train home as quickly as possible, knowing I was on a time scale."

What happened next will stay with me forever. I felt cramping[sic] on the train and was anxious to get home. I was given tablets for pain and took one the minute I got in the door. A little while later, I was back up pacing the floor again as I felt so uncomfortable, another rush to [the] toilet and this time a much bigger clot passed. I felt numb. This was the fetus from my tummy sitting in the toilet pan! I felt compelled to look and wasn't prepared for what I saw. No good would come to me explaining in detail for anyone reading this as it's dead and gone."

Even after the abortion, it was difficult for me to talk about my experiences, even with my partner.

Maybe in time this will get better, I do hope so,

I found out that one of my friends in the office was 10 weeks pregnant. I'm happy for her and wish her well. However, I can't help feeling that could also be me. I can't change the past but feel awful knowing this bump she has will be yet another reminder of what I have done. Everyone’s situation is different, I accept that. I just wish I had given myself a little more time to think.

It's important for women to think long and hard about their decisions as well as how it would impact not just their life, but also other people's lives. Sometimes, facing a tough pregnancy, even if you're unprepared, can be the most amazing thing that can happen in your life. However, as I said, everyone's situation is different, so we're in no position to judge a person for the choices that she makes.
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