Making love vs. Having sex: Totally different things

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Romantic couple

I have always put a divide in my sex life between making love and having sex. Don't get me wrong, there is an emotional connection between myself and my partner, but that's not what's on display during sex. My GF and I have some sick nasty sex, I love it and it's crazy. I've never connected with someone so well before, especially sexually. We're totally open about our weird stuff, which is really weird stuff. I'd mentioned early in the relationship that I have this mental divide between making love and having sex. She didn't really understand what I meant.

I explained that when you make love there is a lot more eye contact, sensual kissing, you hold each other tight, it's much slower paced and you say sweet things to each other, stuff you wouldn't normally say. It's emotionally charged and a special moment you share. I told her I'd never done it before but always wanted to. She, of course, teased me about it. She's a wild child and we've both had trouble communicating emotions verbally. We both show affection physically with kisses, cuddles and are very selective of our partners.

We have very high sex drives so when she started having trouble getting in the mood it was, odd. She'd never had that happen before and we'd been having better and better sex the last week or so. I realized something was off when we were doing a session of one of her fetishes and she just didn't really seem into it. We stopped about 20 minutes in and talked about what's going on. She felt really bad about it and apologized. She's usually ready to go at the drop of a hat. She confessed that she wanted more kisses, affection, and sweet talk for a little bit. I held her on my lap in a cuddle type position for a little while and talked about what's going on with her and had a nice moment.

I put away the kinky stuff, sat back down and pulled her onto my lap and we cuddled for a bit longer. After a while, I pulled her chin up and started kissing her sensually. Usually, there is a fair amount of tongue and it's all hot and heavy. This time I kept the pace slow and light, no tongue. Moved to kissing her neck and saying some sweet stuff about how much I love her and what she means to me. She started shuttering and getting into things. I took her by the hand and moved from the living room couch to my bed. Things continued as they do and we made love.

It was a beautiful moment. She has a hard time looking me in the eye during sex. This time we had a lot of eye contact and that means a lot to me, she's shy about it. She even sweet talked me which is not at all her forte. She has an extremely hard time opening up to people so for her to be vulnerable like that means the world to me. After things hit their climax we laid there staring at each other, kissing and flipping each other shit about being all mushy. She got really red in the face and told me it was the best sex she'd ever had. That hit me petty hard in the feels. Her sex drive is back up to full throttle too.

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