To anyone thinking of fuc*ing with your best-friend, don't do it!

Best friends

So I've been best friends with this girl for years since the day I met her. I wasn't physically attracted to her and thought it would never happen. Maybe about a year ago we started holding hands sometimes, cuddling in bed, but still, I wasn't attracted to her. We were just really good friends talking and laughing you know? Then a couple months ago out of nowhere while hanging out with her I blurted out I love you but it was kinda weak. The kind of I love you-you would say when your not kinda sure you love them but you have this feeling inside telling you that you do.

She didn't respond anything and then some weeks later we were drunk and we fucked. She told me later on that she didn't love me because I wasn't her kinda guy but I said I would get over it and we can still be friends. Since then I've been jealous of her hanging out with male friends because I get suspicious that shes got something going on with them. It resulted in me fucking up our relationship by being mad, weird and angry all the time. Were still hanging out couple nights a week but I accepted the fact it'll never happen between me and her.

Our relationship is good now but I feel that she lost some respect for me and maybe she doesn't like me as a friend that much anymore. I know if I really love her as a friend too then I should let her do what she wants and stop being a cunt. It can never be like it was before. I knew I should never have gotten THAT close with her. I learned a fucking life lesson. Just wish I hadn't done it. I feel like shit all day every day, can't stop thinking about it, about her. Every time my phone buzzes I check it to see if it's her I'm going crazy and am being paranoid. I don't know if I should just stop contacting her or if I should try and save the relationship.
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