I still can’t believe I did it! My boyfriend said yes!!

I still can’t believe I did it! My boyfriend said yes!!
He’s my old high school sweetheart. We went our separate ways after high school. He went off into the military, I kinda took a wrong turn. I wound up in an abusive relationship after that ended I hit a low point. Couldn’t pay bills, I was seriously broke. I ultimately resorted to taking my clothes off on stage to get by. I’m not ashamed of it, but I do wish things had never come to that.

But my old boyfriend came back from the Army a year ago, and we found each other again. He put me back together, rebuilt my self-esteem, and was still the same wonderful boy I remembered him. He never made a negative comment about the things I’d done. He never made me feel like I was a “victim” to my ex. He just accepted me and everything that had happened.

We’ve been back together for a year now. He’s the only man I trust completely (no offense guys, not your fault), and I decided last month that I wanted to keep him forever.
I got him a ring and wrapped it under the tree. I fought the urge to run back out and hide it again all night. And this morning when we opened presents.........it had fallen behind the table our tree is on, and I was too scared to point it out to him. It seems so stupid now. I know he loves me. I never doubted that for a second. He’d never put up with all my crap otherwise.

But I still worried that I’d lose him again. Maybe he’d wise up and realize he could land someone so much better than a former stripper and battered victim for a wife. I don’t know.

We spent all day at family events while I had that big nervous ball in the pit of my stomach. And then tonight while we were still at the family event  I told him there was one more present for him under the tree for him.

He opened it up, then looked at me while I dropped to a knee like a doofus (because that’s what you’re supposed to do, right?) and then he hugged me, kissed me on the forehead, and told me he’d love to marry me.

Even with every stupid decision, even with my crazy emotions, even though he has to watch his volume because I get scared when someone yells at me, he still wants to marry me.

.....and then he went and grabbed the engagement ring he’d intended to give me on New Years!
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