Please advise me like your own sister. I think my husband is gay but he denies it.

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African woman

My husband and I got married to him after dating for a few months. Hubby is 12 years older than me. I’m 27 and we now have 2 kids.

He is hardworking and tries his best to provide for me and the kids. I am not working. It’s not been smooth financially for my husband but we are trusting God for a breakthrough.

But that is not the main issue. The problem is that I am lonely in this marriage and I don’t think my husband loves me nor is he attracted to me. In fact, I don’t know what to think anymore. The whole thing is making me depressed.

I am very neat and I make sure I keep the house neatly. I’m a size 12 to 14 and I intend to work on my weight when my baby is six months old. Since I delivered, he hasn’t slept with me for more than five times. Heaven bears me witness!

The last time he slept with me was in early 2017. That was when I conceived my second baby. All through my pregnancy, he never touched me and this is what I have been facing in this marriage. I have complained severally but he does not want to change. I have threatened to leave with the kids, threatened to involve his family. Rather, he would say to me, “instead of you to be praying for God to bless me, you are talking about sex.”

I have suggested we see a counselor but he’s refused. I don’t know what else to do as I have tried to make this marriage work. He’s now like a roommate to as there’s no connection anymore. Whenever I try to play with him by sitting on his legs, that’s when he will remember his leg is paining him or tells me that I am heavy.

Meanwhile, he goes to the gym every day and I know how many KGs of metal he carries. He doesn’t miss the gym at all, so I don’t know why he treats me this way.

I don’t want this marriage anymore. I am gradually losing my sanity and self-esteem. Yet, he claims he loves me and that he is not cheating on me.

I call him gay and he will be like, “it is your father that is gay.” There is this guy he is so close to and older than. He claims the guy is his errand man but they are just too close. They speak on the phone and chat all the time. He tells this guy everything, even things I know nothing of and we are having issues because of him. I call both of them gay. There is no day my husband doesn’t bring up this guy’s name in our conversations.

I want to know, please advice me: will I be going too far if I reveal these things to his siblings? Will they mock me or him?

I can’t continue living like this anymore because I may end up seeking attention outside my marriage.

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