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Start your relationship with the right questions. It’s nice to know you’ve come a long way but hurts when you find that you have come the wrong way.

We all value our times differently but one thing that makes us equal is we never want to waste them on things that are not worth the stress. Just like a bad business, relationships too can be a waste of time if not properly handled. There is an order that is established as correct, one that every successful relationship needs to have passed through. The problem with most relationships that eventually crash is that they either did not follow this order at all, or the priorities are arranged wrongly. Before the order even comes into play, there are advised pre-meeting parameters that should be paid strict cognizance. The very first pre-meeting parameter is to measure the areas you visit to ensure that they are places that suit the kind of person you desire to meet. Little as it is, your frequent places, appearance, and way of expression could play a good or bad role in determining who walks up to you.

It is after you have met someone that we can begin to discuss the steps to start with. In times past, getting to know a potential boyfriend was something tied in the confines of “what’s your name?”, what do you do?”, ” where do you live?” and “how old are you?”, but with where the world stands now, it would be really shallow to think within the ordinaries since getting to know ordinary people is in a way different from getting to know someone you plan to hand your heart to. What many do not know, is that the question you ask can give insights about the depth of your thoughts and funny as it is, the guys nowadays are tired of the mascara and the foundations – they hunger to see intelligence and composure, skills that they lack sometimes – they seek to have your strength compliment their weaknesses. So from all we have gathered, a lady that asks “what is the model of your car” definitely doesn’t have any of the aforementioned in her. Another truth is that even we ladies are tired of the guys that chase pretty face, physical embodiments and cute smile, we want deeper. You’d only be able to access this ‘deeper’ level in a guy if you ask not just the right questions, but the deep questions.

You may be reading this right now thinking that it is too late because you have started already and might have been asking the wrong questions, but the truth is that it is never too late to change your question. The questions you switch to must not just be meaningful, but must be ones that cause the man in question to share only the ‘grown-in-mind’ side of him – directly shaming the guy that doesn’t have that. If you pay good attention to this, you would eventually end up having conversations that in one way or the other builds the both of you. What’s more is, asking reasonable questions keep the sub-standard guys away. To help you make it easy for you, here are examples of questions you should ask a prospective boyfriend:


When he hears this question, do not be surprised if he finds it hard to decipher what is really required of him. What you should look out for is whether he wants or needs the relationship. I’d guess that even you must be asking what the difference is between him wanting and needing the relationship is. The thing is, it kills to find that you were just that rebound girl or that company at boring times, or the cinema partner, or the balm for the last pain, so his answers to this question will reveal whether you are a need (only there to serve a purpose) or a want (desired and cherished).


This question seems like a very straightforward one but what you should look out for in the answer he gives is a lot beyond the superficial. You ask this question to understand how serious he takes his ambitions and how much he puts on the line to improve his stance. A guy that appears laid back towards work must either be less ambitious or steals at night to get money (kidding). Being the source of income and chance at success, his work must mean a lot more to him than just a five to seven engagement. A thoughtful young man would, in answering this question, go into his plans and how he wishes to enlarge his coast and maybe start a thing of his own (if an employee), or tell you what improvement plans he has for his business (if self-employed). This is because he is smart enough not to wait for the regular “where do you see yourself in five years?”.


Talking about his drive generally will get him talking about his worldview and most importantly his definition of success. Some get their drive from the desire to make money and feel fulfilled as soon they make a reasonable amount while some, on the other hand, wish to make relevant impacts on their society and most importantly the ones they love. Now, this sort of drive is eternal and chasing that kind of success is continuous. A man with such view is surely not going to evade his role in making himself a relevant figure in your life and in that of the family you build together.


Religious views in relationships can cause more than we seem to pay attention to. Being a very close-to-the-heart kind of subject, it brings out the emotional side of people – evoking their passion for what they believe in. In truth, we do not always have to share the same view in all ramifications to move together nicely, we only have to know how to merge the disparities. This is why you have to find out if the prospective boyfriend is one that embraces the religious views of others or believes only his is right. Whether you find someone on your side or on another, your philosophies need to have a point of confluence before you decide to go on with him. It is either, you’re on a uniform ground, or you’re on different grounds but have learned to appreciate and welcome other views. There’s less issue if you find someone who shares your religious perspectives, but if it is the other way, then the problem, you need to know, is not in dating someone who has a different religious view, it’s in whether or not they appreciate the view of others.


The bonus question here is this. You need to know his age and whether or not he fits your desired age grade. Looks can be deceiving, so you need to hear him say it.

In all, the need to know what you want is topmost. Setting your own priorities right will make it very easy to set your game straight as regards relationship. Before you start throwing these questions to the innocent young man, you ought to have asked yourself a million and one. Knowing what you want is the first step to getting it. If you know what you want then you’d have the right mindset to set your questions right.

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