Born out of rape, It still kills me to this day

Mother and son talking
I was the child of rape, my mother chose to keep me instead. I told her I would have understood if she did abort because if I was in that situation I would have aborted my child. I told her I would love her even if she did. No woman should have to go through what she went through.

This is for anyone who is debating having an abortion or not. I want you to know, no choice is the wrong choice.

Growing up I didn't know my donor (aka my father, but I refuse to call him by such a worthy name). The only thing I knew about him was that if my mother saw him while we were out, she would grab us and run as fast as she could in her car and race off. I had no idea what was going on. She seemed frightened. I never understood why...

When I was 14 I met an extended family from my donor's side, I finally had a chance to meet the man I had been dreaming about. The man that would make me whole and explain who I truly am.

I met him and it was great. We got along really well. One day he asked to speak with my mom. I asked her and she said no. I asked why? She contained to tell me no.

One day she dropped me off at his house and he came outside and hello to her, she looked stiff and afraid and was very cold. I didn't understand. I asked her what was wrong but she ignored me and said go ahead.

"Let's talk." one day my mother told me. We sat down on my bed and proceeded. "You were born out of rape." I never wanted to have a child with this man." The day it happened he was high and beat her with my sister in the other room. She was on birth control but it failed and she found out she was pregnant a few months later.

She continued to explain that even though she called the cops, he would always come back and beat down her door and she was almost to the point of being evicted so she would let him in. She told me she didn't believe in abortion and it wasn't my fault so she decided to keep me and she does not regret it.

My heart sank. I flashed back to all the times she ran away in terror and all of the times I asked her to talk to the man who brutally beat and raped her.

I asked her to continue the story and tell me everything. She continued to explain that after I was born, she tried to involve him in my life, but he continued the beating.

After I found out all of this, I broke down in tears. My mother, who over everything else was always 100% honest and so strong. Didn't tell me this sooner because she wanted me to find out who he truly was and make that decision on my own. She spoke to him in fear and waited. It still kills me to this day.

I want to tell you. If I was her, I would abort. I told her I wouldn't have blamed her if she did. She had to look at me every day of my life as a constant reminder of what she went through.

She said that it wasn't my fault.

I work hard every day and have become very successful and I feel she deserves everything for keeping me. I will give her what this man took. I will be buying her a house as soon so she can live comfortably out the rest of her days.

I am the product of my mother. I am her strength and her will. I have become successful because of her influence. I help others and she does. She never makes me feel anything but love. I wish I could be half the woman she is!

This man has no claim to the person I am and the person I have become. I have seen him in passing in my hometown but he does not exist in my world. No anger or hatred, just existence.

So as the child of a situation like this or any situation where you feel you need to abort the child. If they were alive, they would understand. I'm alive and I understand.

If you decide to keep them and struggle through it all. Know they will love you with everything.

I would love my mother either way. So make the decision that is right for you.

I want everyone to know that she has met the love of her life now and he treats her like the queen she deserves to be and has restored her faith.
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