I’ve always found job interviews both exciting and daunting.

They’re exciting because you’re one step closer to earning a salary to cover all living costs, but daunting because you’re stuck in a room full of people who are asking you a bunch of questions in a bid to figure you out.

In the last year, I’ve been to so many job interviews that I started to wish that I could be completely honest when answering questions instead of giving polite, textbook answers that were nowhere close to what I honestly thought.

So, I’m going into a fictional, no-nonsense type-of-girl character who’s at a job interview, and I’ll be ditching the notion of putting my best foot forward by giving the interviewers a true piece of my mind when answering their interview questions.

Please tell us more about yourself.

Well, I’m 28 years old and I graduated from college with an honors media degree. I could’ve graduated cum laude but I was too busy experiencing all that life has to offer in the big city, which is a good thing because being ready for the working world starts as soon as you step into an office. The only reason that I’m looking for a job because I hit a bit of a financial snag with my business. I exercise four times a week and eat a low carb, protein-filled diet, and I can’t start the day without a cup of 100% Arabica organic coffee.

I went through your Facebook profile and saw a picture of you wearing a clown hat and cheering with your hands pointed to the side. Tell us more about that moment.

Oh, snap! A friend of mine took that pic. I was at a Festival and was dancing so much that it felt like a workout. I love having a good time and enjoying life. Don’t worry; I wasn’t drunk because I don’t drink anymore. Alcohol makes you fat and wreaks havoc on your face by giving you that drunken face look.

Tell us more about your best friend.

She’s an awesome and supportive friend. She’s a musician and also runs her own advertising agency. We’ve been friends since varsity. She keeps me in check and we enjoy life together.

How long does it take you to get ready for work in the morning?

It takes me 20 minutes. I wear the same type of clothes to work so I don’t have to worry about putting together an outfit for the day, and I shower and pack my lunch before going to bed to save time in the morning.

How would you explain what you do for a living to a 6-year-old kid?

I’d tell the little kid that I make money from writing cool and meaningful stories.

How many hours per day do you usually work, and why?

From Monday to Wednesday, I work for an 8-hour period with breaks in-between. The first 3 days of the week is where my concentration is at its highest. Thursdays and Fridays are lazy days where I focus on admin for about 3 hours before surfing the internet for cool reads.

Please tell me about a challenge or conflict that you faced at work and how you dealt with it.

I used to work with an insecure boss who was threatened by my creativity and intelligence. He tried to make work a living hell for me through miscommunication, spreading rumors about me and being passive-aggressive with me. Because I know my self-worth and will not deal with anyone disrespecting me because of their own insecurities, I quit my job with immediate effect and I stated in my resignation letter that the company is great but the head of the department is a piece of shit.

What’s your biggest failure to date and how did you deal with it?

My biggest failure so far has been sticking to a job that I hated and one that I wasn’t good at. I’ve learned that it’s important to know your strengths and capitalize on them, and also to do what you love. Following my passion might not make me an instant millionaire, but at least I’ll be happy.

Why should we hire you?

Well, you need a pair of hands to do a number of tasks that need to be done to keep the business afloat on a day-to-day basis, so I’m here to offer my hands in return for a salary. Consider me as a temporary solution to your problem. I don’t plan on being here for too long.

Where do you see yourself in 5 years?

I’ll be creating amazing stories for TV and film that people will enjoy while plastered on the couch with tons of junk food on a lazy weekend and after a long day at work.
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