Sometimes, "try and try till you succeed", will not work

Happy woman

I'm 24, Female. Let me share my own story.

Done graduation in Computers Sciences in 2011. I don't know if I can code or not. Frankly, I was neither interested in technical stuff nor development Hence, I did not go with the placement. I opted MBA in 2012. The first year finished. I still wasn't able to figure out if I can choose the right specialization for myself. My knowledge has given me a great opportunity of welcoming an internship with Robert Bosch. Done. Then came placements from October 2013, which I was failing in every company in the first round itself.

I was horribly failing, brutally rejected and terribly depressed. In-spite of having a head-turning resume and profile, I was taken by none.

One fine day, Citigroup came to me, and I was taken. A huge package, Amazing role to boom in the future. Lots of dreams, I entered into Citi. The dream company for anyone. An offer which you can't give up on. But, It's coding again! After all this? I'm into coding again? My brain said NO! I did not like the job. I loved the environment, team, culture, everything in the organization. But, my work is what I was paid, therefore. I did not like even an inch of it. Tried twice, thrice may be. I analyzed myself for the next 10 years. I can't make a view of myself. I failed to imagine myself in the future?. That's it. I felt like I was wasting my time as well as my team's time there. I wasn't made for that. And I don't know for what I was made too either. 

Sometimes, "try and try till you succeed", will not work.

Every day was a struggle. My mind stopped talking to me. I don't want to wake up. I think the most difficult part was not being able to understand what was happening. But until I decided to reach out, it was my own struggle and my own battle. Friends and family said that its gonna be okay. You will get better with the job in days. But its hard sometimes. You feel like they won't understand what you are going through. People used to listen to my story as shit. They invited me to dinner or movie just to get a friend for their time-pass. But I didn't feel like going because my mind and brain was stuck somewhere else. It was a dark phase for me. It was a constant feeling. Even if I'm in a room full of people, I felt I'm lost. I was a stranger. An alien. It's strange. And the scariest part is you don't know when its gonna end and how?! Or even if it could end? Or is it just gonna eat you away and creep over you?

It's not worth this. I felt like there was no reason to live in this way.

But I dared. I fought. I resigned. I came out. I hunted. I got. I believed in me. I know I can speak. I can think crazy. I can waste my hours in front of the system just by surfing and reading articles So that's my destiny. I'm a Digital Marketer now. Gained a place where I can even career counsel, Earning Good Appreciations. What else can I ask for? If you are being given importance in your job place. When your absence is making a difference at work, people are looking for you as their destiny for work done, You won!

People who thought I'm a fool to leave a big brand, now appreciate me for such a bold decision. This is real satisfaction.

Sometimes, being online, reading kinds of stuff on the web, surfing things to know more, satisfying and increasing your thirst to know more and more, is just what you enjoy.

If I succeeded in switching myself to a completely different career from before and growing into what am I now, believe me, Its very easy for you!

Search within you. What are you good at? Need not to be only coding or that stuff. Quelling? Baking? Management? Writing? Speaking? RJ? DJ? Guide? Marketing Advisor? Makeup reviewer? Stylist? Counselor? Online-store open? Make-up tips site? Make-up artist? Event manager? Wedding planner? A Master Chef? Are you Good at the sense of humor? Start a site like trollcinema? Freelance employee? Photographer? Model?

Come'on there is a hell of options out there :) Come out of the shell. Believe me, it's beautiful. Job. A Job doesn't mean that you should sit and earn at the end of the month writing codes! It is about living your passion.

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