Are you having too much or not enough sex? Find out!

Couple kissing
SEVEN years ago, an online publication asked its readers how often they had sex and 2945 people responded, with 41 percent revealing that they did the deed four times a week, while 34 percent said they only had sex once a month. A further 18 percent said they never have sex, while 8 percent of the respondents said they had it twice a day.

When it comes to sex, it’s a case of different strokes for different folks. But this still begs the question, how much sex is enough sex? In one Twitter conversation about how much constitutes enough sex, participants had answers that included, “When you have enough sex, you know it. Just like an orgasm, there is no doubt, you’re satisfied and your cup runneth over. Divine sex is the only sex that touches the whole body.” Other people said, “Money and sex are similar. When you have some, you can’t get all you want.

If you don’t have any, you can’t get any. Another similarity between money and sex, you only need enough to get by on and some days you need way more than others.” And then there was this answer: “Can you have enough?”

Internationally renowned sex expert and author, Tracy Cox, says the answer to the question lies with how much sex a couple defines as enough. She adds that according to The Normal Bar, a book by a sexologist, Pepper Schwartz and her colleagues, “Three to four times a week was the perfect amount for prime levels of happiness. If you don’t have children, are in the peak of health, going through a great time in your relationship, and are highly sexed and motivated, this could be your magic number.”

One would think that the more sex a couple has, the happier their sex life will be. However, this is not always the case. Tracy adds that couples who are most satisfied tend to be those who have sex four or five times a month, that’s once a week as a rule and twice a week if they’re really feeling frisky. “It allows you to find a time when both of you are feeling relaxed enough to become aroused, but is often enough to stop the awful pressure couples feel when there’s been a sex drought,” she explains.

Sexologists caution that before setting up an expectation of how much sex you should be having, it’s worth remembering that sometimes life gets in the way. Factors such as stress, fatigue and juggling too many responsibilities also determine how much sex you can have at any given point in time. According to Focus on the Family, a family support network, “Frequency of sexual activity can be a measure of the general health of a marriage, but there’s no numerical standard that applies to every couple. Factors such as gender, individual expectations, developmental maturity as a couple and cultural differences all affect the numbers. These variables are especially evident in early marriage when a couple is still in the process of finding out where their own normal will land on the scale.”

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