My long-time secrets to keep the fire burning in the bedroom

Long-time secrets to keep the fire burning in the bedroom

How do sεxually compatible couples succeed at keeping the fire burning in the bedroom? 

Keeping the excitement alive in the bedroom proves to be more challenging as time goes by, but for my hubby and I, intimacy just becomes sweeter with age.

I remember gaining 40 pounds with my first pregnancy and feeling so unattractive but my sweet husband still wanted to have sεx with me, and always made a point of telling me how sεxy and beautiful I was.

So, what are my secrets? Read on to find out!

We’re not afraid to act like teenagers

We've been married for 11 years and have three children, but my husband and I still have fun, just like we did when we were dating. We still 'do it' on the floor and the feeling is amazing. Every now and then when he's working from home, I'll interrupt him in stilettos and a robe, or I'll quickly flash him when we're out and no one's looking. When he tries to playfully grope me I don't swat him away—it keeps the spark alive.

Schedule intimacy

More than just sεx, you have to set aside time for intimacy or one-on-one time. This makes romance even more exciting.

Attempt to set aside a scheduled day and time for intimacy. Notice I said ‘intimacy’ and not just sεx. For women, it is important to have time to connect with her partner, to help her feel more amorous, and for any guys reading this: helping with the laundry and letting the new mom take a nap is the BEST form of foreplay.

Take risks

Be bold and open to new ways to please each other, like role-playing. Sεx life with my husband evolves and changes along with our marriage. Sεx for me, now that I have been married for many years, is much more satisfying, fulfilling, and intimate as compared to the so-called "honeymoon stage."

Be in sync

Let me stress the importance of being "connected" and in tune with one another. Understanding one another in a profound way helps you satisfy each other in ways no one else can.

Share responsibility

Taking turns initiating sεx is what helps my husband and me to maintain the sεxual chemistry. You can come up with a schedule or play it by ear. Either way, it's important that the "burden" to initiate and to lead during sεx doesn't fall on one person.

Break routine

Sεx should not be a chore. Keep it fun and take turns initiating intimacy. There are times when you both aren't feeling up to it, and that's okay. Don't be disheartened.

Quantity has nothing to do with quality. My husband and I continue to find new levels of intensity. For us, it's about treating sεx as an opportunity to discover something new. The key to having a fulfilling long-term sεx life is to shift your focus away from the excitement and focus instead on the richness and texture of every experience. There's always the potential to be surprised.

Embrace aging

Satisfying sεx has no age limit. It's even been known to offer many health benefits, keeping couples happy and energetic. Some studies even say it boosts brain activity, keeping the elderly attentive and sharp. Embrace the changes in each other's bodies and do not be embarrassed because sεx is an expression of love, no matter what season of life you're in.

Manage expectations

In an effort to spice things up in the bedroom, don't expect too much from yourself or your partner. Take it one step at a time. Remember: it's not about the number of times you do it; it's more about the quality of your intimate encounters.

Respect each other's pace

If you or your husband has a higher sεx drive, it's either you slow down or you speed up. If one of you have lesser interest to have sεx, and even rejects too often. It might upset the other. It's hard to find someone that has the same pace as you. It's about making it work.

Make each other feel wanted

Showering each other with compliments counts as foreplay and reassuring your spouse you only have eyes for them through words and gestures will truly strengthen your bond and make sεx more exciting and meaningful.

Geoffrey Nevine — IT Services and IT Consulting

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