A Guide to Anal Sex for Beginners

A Guide to Anal Sex for Beginners

Anal sex hurts.

Everyone’s doing it.

It’s no big deal.

It means you’re gay.

Anal sex isn't necessarily your first topic of conversation, whether you have a new partner or have been with someone for many years. However, it is something that should (in our opinion) be explored or at least talked about. It doesn't have to be frightening, intimidating or 'wrong'; with an open-minded attitude, it can deliver a great deal of pleasure for all involved.

Anal sex is one of life's major taboo subjects and we at Sent To Thrill want to help change your perception of it - and discover the pleasures that both men and women can enjoy.

This how-to guide will hopefully allow you to think a little more about the benefits of anal sex or bottom fun as we like to call it.

Why try anal sex?

Firstly, did you know that your anus has loads of nerve endings that mean it is extremely sensitive. With the right stimulation, it can contribute to amazing orgasms for both sexes. For men, the benefits seem clear cut, as massaging the prostate is known to give mind-blowing orgasms, but there's also a health benefit: the prostate stores stale semen that needs a release! Remember, it's not called the P-Spot for nothing!

For women, anal sex can also lead to orgasm or contribute to positive feelings. The clitoris has leg nerve endings that can stretch through the labia minora into the anus. So, if you get the angle right and give the clitoris a little extra stimulation there is no reason why you shouldn't experience an amazing orgasm. What's not to love!

See below some of the detailed benefits of anal sex that you should be reaping.

  • Keeps your immune system in great shape. Sex in general is fantastic for your health. It boosts your immune system by keeping you in shape, because of the exercise involved, and introduces your antibodies to all sorts of different things it can ramp up and keep in check.
  • Clears you out. As much as people really don’t like to discuss their bowel movements, it is important to mention that anal sex does a great job of clearing you out—something that is extremely helpful in keeping you healthy. Due to all the increased activity in that region and blood flow down there, it helps your bowels get moving and makes it much easier to pass them. But don’t worry! This will NOT happen during the actual act. Hopefully.
  • Is generally more pleasurable for the men. Many men find anal sex more pleasurable than vaginal sex because the anus is tighter than the vagina. And since men get off due to the pressure on their member, it’s no wonder that a tighter entrance would feel better. But that’s not the only reason they tend to like it more. It also gives them a sense of accomplishment, makes them feel a little rebellious, and gives them a feeling of being powerful and dominant—something that feeds their primal instincts.
  • Is really pleasurable for the women. The anus has an enormous amount of nerve endings, both surrounding it and directly within it. This means that, even though women aren’t being physically pleasured through their vagina, it’s still really pleasing for them. It’s also really pleasurable because the G-spot can still be reached when men enter and push against the vaginal wall. So really, women can have orgasms through anal penetration, alone.
  • Increases intimacy between partners. There is a significant amount of trust that has to be in place before anal sex can happen. Many women are nervous, insecure, and have issues accepting anal sex, due to the physical requirements and reputation it seems to have. Not only that, but it also creates a closeness, because both partners are getting their needs met. If the man wants to experiment with anal sex and the woman complies, he feels closer to her, knowing she is doing something for his pleasure.
  • Eliminates fear of pregnancy. You cannot get pregnant through anal sex alone. Unless some sperm somehow comes out of the anus and finds its way into the vagina, you will not get pregnant. This eases tension that is sometimes felt between two people during sex. Without that tension, people are freer to enjoy themselves and men get to finish inside women—something that they all love to do. It’s a win-win for everyone, really. 
  • Semen benefits. Semen plasma has a ridiculous amount of benefits to it. When a man finishes inside a woman, it can affect her in a lot of ways. Usually, this happens through the vagina. However, newer research has shown that semen exuded in the anus has the same effects. Some common benefits of sperm are as follows: natural anxiety reducer, anti-depressant, improves quality of sleep, increases energy, natural pain reducer, improves mental alertness, and has the ability to increase a woman’s libido.
  • Increases sexual diversity. If you feel like your sex life has been rather boring, anal sex will certainly spice things up a bit! It’s a perfect way to introduce something new into your sex life that the two of you have never tried before. This is extremely helpful in a long-term relationship when you feel like you’re “used to” your partner. It can make things fun and new again!
  • Fantastic alternative to period sex. Some girls just don’t want to have sex during their period. Maybe they don’t like it, their partner doesn’t like it, or they don’t want to deal with the mess. Either way, anal sex offers a great alternative to sex when you’re on your period. By taking the sexual activities to the back, you are keeping the period away from everything, so you don’t have to deal with it at all.
  • It’s exciting! It really is. It’s not something that people do a lot and it’s an exciting new thing that you can bring to your relationship. It’ll have both of you feeling like young teenagers engaging in sexual activities for the first time. Talk about reminiscing!

Getting started


Many people have the expectation that anal has to hurt. Or they’ve tried it and it did hurt. This doesn’t have to be the case!

Pain is your body’s way of saying, “hey, boo—something isn’t right.” It means you need to pause, figure out if it’s something you can address right away, and either course correct or stop completely.

Despite its prevalence, pain during sex is neither normal nor necessary.

How do you prevent anal from hurting?


Before you try to stick anything in any ass, start with a sensual booty massage. Knead, spank, and stroke the hips and ass to relax the entire body, especially the muscles in and around the butt. From there, start to massage the perineum (t’aint), that area between the vaginal opening or scrotum and the butthole.

Then and only then, use a finger or a toy the size of one, to massage in and around the butthole. You might not get far but that’s OK! Most of the nerve endings in the anus are just inside the butthole. You can enjoy all the pleasure, without all the penetration.

As you get more comfortable with anal penetration, you’ll be able to increase the length and girth of what’s going inside.


The butt isn’t as elastic as the vagina, plus it doesn’t produce its own lubrication. That means lube is a must. Think you used enough? Add a little more. For fingers and penises, use a silicone or oil-based lube (just don’t mix oil and latex condoms). For silicone sex toys, try a water-based anal lube.

Avoid desensitizing lubes. Pain is your body’s way of telling you to slow down. Numbing that increases your risk of issues like infections, irritation, or tears.


Toys can help you prep for anal sex (butt plugs are fab for this), go deeper (anal beads are great for this since they’re graduated), bring a double penetration fantasy to life (despite being in a monogamous relationship), and just plain feel good.

Unlike the vagina, which has the cervix to prevent anything from going into your body, the butt is a one-way highway. Things can, and will, get sucked into your body. You don’t want that. Nevermind any potential embarrassment, it also can cause serious damage to your rectum and internal organs.

Anything you stick in your butt must have a flange or flared base that’s wider than the widest part of the toy.

Please don’t sit on a mason jar, lightbulb, vase, regular dildo, or anything else that isn’t made for the butt, big or small!


You aren’t likely to actually poop during anal sex, but real talk: you might come into contact with some. If this concerns you, here are three tips:
  • Use an enema beforehand to clean your booty out
  • Use condoms on penises and toys and finger cots on fingers
  • Use black toys to minimize what you see

Because of the presence of fecal matter, you should never go between the back door and any other opening like the vagina or mouth. Don’t invite infection in! You can even make a rule like “left hand, ass!” so you don’t have to think too much about it in the moment.


Despite all the hype, a recent survey found that only “36% of millennials have female anal sex and 15% have male anal sex at least some of the time” (Source). So, no, not everyone is doing it.

In fact, not everyone should do it. If you have hemorrhoids, active inflammation, a fissure, or other booty issues, avoid anal sex. You can still enjoy other forms of anal play like sensual booty massage, rimming (oral-anal stimulation), and spanking.


Who you’re attracted to and the sex acts you enjoy aren’t related at all.


The same nerve that goes to the clitoris and tip of the penis also runs through your anus! That’s what makes anal sex feel so pleasurable. The majority of these nerve endings are closer to the butt hole, meaning that you don’t need to go deep in order to find freedom in pleasure.

Beyond the nerves, anal sex makes you feel full in a way that’s different from other types of intercourse. Plus, if you have a prostate—often called the other g-spot—anal sex directly stimulates that. Prostate stimulation can lead to stronger orgasms and even multiples, with or without an erection or penis stimulation.


If you’re totally into trying butt sex, go for it with these tips! If you’re not, that’s great, too! Whatever you decide, and however that may change over time, having the best info will help you have a more intimate, exciting, and fulfilling sex life.

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