Dumped? Move on Gracefully

Dumped? Move on Gracefully

There is something really annoying about a fly that won’t just take a hint. You try to scare it away but the darn thing keeps making it back to the last place you want to see it hovering over. This is sometimes replicated in a relationship when the other person just won’t go away after it is clear the sun has set on the relationship.

It may really hurt when it dawns on you that the one person you hoped to spend eternity with suddenly becomes totally disinterested in you and asks to move on. Ask maybe a euphemism for being dumped over text messages or a short phone conversation. You may even be more hurt if you are not given a satisfactory reason for the end of the relationship. In such situations, there are two things you can do; move on gracefully and accept that life happens or stick around and be hysterical about everything. But the message you send to your partner by your reaction to that news will definitely get them thinking. While being hysterical and hateful may make you feel better, to your ex, it justifies their reason to walk out on you and makes them feel so good about themselves that they brag about it to their friends. Moving on gracefully may make you look weak especially when your ex dumps you for someone else but trust me, it will definitely haunt their relationship.

Most people will tell you to fight for your relationship but am telling you, you can only fight against an external threat to your relationship alongside your partner. But when your partner crosses over the other side, it ceases being a relationship.

One way of moving on is embarking on that hobby you have always cherished but never had the time to do it because you were in a relationship. Avoid the things you liked doing together for a while. This will help you meet and interact with very different and new people. Whatever you engage in, take a break from relationships, don’t jump in another.

Accept that there is nothing wrong with you and always remember that there is someone out there for you. In fact, there is nothing wrong with your ex either. The relationship just couldn’t work for compatibility reasons but not because you are inadequate in a certain way.

You have the right to know what transpired. There are always so many questions and it is not a crime to seek answers. Be calm in your pursuit for explanation and don’t pressure hem. Show them a level of maturity they will forever miss. This will help you find closure and even forgive your ex. Forgiveness lifts the hatred and baggage that weighs you down you will be amazed at how happy and light you feel when you forgive people.

Always remind yourself that she/he was not the right person for you and limit contact with him/her. There is nothing like being friends with your ex. I once read somewhere that being a friend with your ex is like keeping in touch with your kidnappers after they let you go. They chose to move on, let them do, and come up with your conditions too. No relationship means as much less contact as you can manage.

After all, has been said and done, always have friends around you with whom you can share your experience. Whatever the feeling you have, share it with them. Hate, fear, anger, grief, shame, and other deeper emotions should only be expressed to a close friend or relative. Don’t show your ex these emotions. Always appear strong when dealing with them but open up to someone else. The times of getting personal and intimate with your feelings with your ex are gone.

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