It’s often cited as
the biggest barrier to females participating in sailing. Confidence – or rather,
lack of it – impacts women at every level and in every aspect. It means that opportunities – when they do arise – too often
go unrealized.
What’s the solution? Should female sailors simply ‘man up’ and get on with it?
The question of how to boost confidence among
female sailors is a complex one. One solution doesn’t fit all. It’s a
multifactorial issue. For most people – male and female – the issue often stems
from childhood and therefore it’s not an easy fix.
So, how can female
sailors kick-start their confidence and realize their sailing ambitions?
- Seek out a mentor
Having a mentor can
massively help women to boost their confidence. Women are generally
very good at working their networks – in fact, that’s regularly identified as a
female strength. So, use your network to broaden your opportunities. Choose a
person you respect or who you think could be useful to you. That might not be
the same person over the duration of your sailing career; it might be that you
need someone with technical expertise, or equally, it might be that you need
someone to give you insight as to how to transition into a different area of
sailing.
- Share the experience with the
right kind of friend
Women will very often
try a sport because a friend already does it, or because they agree to try it
together. Confidence comes from having someone to share the experience with.
As with a mentor, that
friend doesn’t have to be female, they can equally be male. Wider societal
changes are unfolding all the time, bringing an increased awareness of gender
equality and with it a more inclusive trend, and sailing is not completely
immune to that. So, on an individual basis, there are men who will say, ‘let me
understand the problem, let me help’ – which is great.
But sailing also has
other barriers, including women who are confident and established in their
sailing careers who can, for various reasons, be deliberately obstructive.
Fortunately, these women are in the minority and it is important not to be put
off by this. Instead, find someone who wants to share and enjoy the journey,
too.
- Understand your internal narrative
Confidence is governed
by an internal narrative. This can have a huge impact on confidence, and it can
be particularly deep-rooted, but it is essential to understand your own
internal narrative in order to move forwards. If you grew up in a family where
very often boys were labeled as ‘strong’ and praised for being ‘brave’, while
girls were labeled as ‘pretty’ and praised for being ‘good’, it’s no surprise
that those girls will have grown up thinking they have to be ‘good’. If they
didn’t fit that, they were labeled as ‘difficult’. On the other hand, men that
don’t fit labels are thought of as ‘brave’, ‘ground breaking’, ‘challenging the
norm’.
Ultimately, though,
‘good’ women don’t change the world! It’s the ‘difficult’ ones that do.
So ask yourself, do
you accept the label of ‘difficult’? If so, what you are going to do with it?
What is it that you are going to change? It’s a case of ‘reframing the
narrative’. Take control. Examine what you are happy to accept or not accept.
Be honest with yourself, and don’t accept a label without challenging it.
- Be your own best friend
Talk to yourself as if
you are your own best friend; someone who really believes in you. What would a
best friend say? They’d say ‘look at your sailing CV, look how great you are,
look what you have achieved!’. Internally – in their heads – women will
naturally talk themselves out of a situation unless they felt absolutely
certain that they were qualified or experienced enough to take it on, but by
doing so, they deny themselves opportunities to move forwards. You build
confidence through trying something and giving it a go – from actually doing
it. It’s then about coming back and recognizing what you can and can’t do, and
building your intentions from there.
- Pick apart success, not a failure
Once you have tried
something, focus on what went well. Analyze your success; after all, it’s
success that you want to repeat. This can be challenging because women
naturally focus on unpicking their failures, in a very different way to men.
Men tend to attribute their success internally; they will celebrate their own
skills and capabilities; for example, they will say it is they themselves who
won the race. Women on the other hand will attribute success on the racecourse
to having the fastest boat, the best team around them, or even sheer luck. In
contrast, they will blame themselves for failures, whereas men are more likely
to blame the boat or other external factors. By focussing on the successes that
we as an individual made happen and are directly responsible for, this creates
a positive mindset, and you are more likely to replicate success in the future.
Now try for
yourself…
Putting these steps
into practice will help you create and make the most of new opportunities,
whether that be trying a new role on board, breaking into a new class,
qualifying for squad or event, or any other sailing goal you have in mind.
Regardless of the hurdles you know or feel to be in place, acknowledging any lack in confidence and identifying what is causing that needs to be your fundamental starting point. Set your goals, then be realistic about how you approach a situation. There is rarely a quick fix in sailing, so be prepared for it to take time – and therefore, determination. Stick with it, apply these five steps, and you WILL go far!
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