Sex—Lies—Dating (Christian Lifestyle)

Sex—Lies—Dating (Christian Lifestyle)

In a world that says sex is just physical (which is a LIE), how do you go about guarding your purity? And IF you’ve already lost it, is it important to get back to guarding? Is it even possible?

This is a vitally important topic that I feel the Church fails on explaining- and CULTURE IGNORES COMPLETELY.

If you grew up in church, you probably heard, don't have sex until marriage. This is true. I back that statement. Saving sex until marriage is in all of our best interests.

But why?

The church says, because the Bible says so.

End of story.

But we are doing a SERIOUS disservice to ourselves and the next generation if that’s where the conversation ends.

Yes, we ought to guard our purity.

Yes, save sex for marriage.

And yes, it’s in the Bible. But why?!

Why does God say to guard our purity?

Because it’s NOT just physical. It’s spiritual. It’s emotional. It causes a soul tie. All of those reasons.

“And the two shall become one.” Mark 10:8

Sex. Marriage.

And marriage is NOT just a piece of paper by the way. It is a COVENANT.

There is so so much I want to say on these topics. And I will in the coming days.

But for right now, I do want to focus on the topic of IF you’ve lost your virginity. If you’ve been married and are now divorced. Or if you and your significant other go too far one night. Or if you were raped so now there’s no V-card.

Is it worth guarding your purity?

Once your V card is gone. Should you still abstain from sex outside of marriage?

My answer is: YES.


And as a very personal example, I’ll use myself.

As a mother of six, I am CLEARLY not a virgin. Nowhere near.

I’ve been married twice.

Divorced twice.

Should I, as a Chritian single, guard my purity? Should I abstain from sex in my dating relationships, even now? Is there worth in that?

Yes. And I intend to.

If you cut yourself once, you don’t just throw in the towel and say, oh well, I’m bleeding now, the cut is there, the scar is there, I’m just not going to practice knife safety anymore.

No. That would be STUPID. And irresponsible.

Same with sex.

Guarding your purity doesn’t end and shouldn’t end after you’ve lost your virginity. Or given it away.

Another example would be drinking.

If you get drunk one night, that’s not now the new standard. Oh, I regret getting drunk, but now there’s no going back. Now every time I drink, I have to get drunk.

No. You go too far once, but it doesn't have to be the new standard. The new normal. Because you CARE ABOUT YOU. You care about your well being!

We don’t apply that kind of line of thinking of it’s a one and done now once and for all to ANYTHING else… so why purity?

But the world will tell you otherwise.

The world DOES tell you otherwise.

And in some ways, the CHURCH has perpetuated this lie.

That if you lose your purity, you are now a chewed-up piece of bubble gum and no one will ever want you.

I LITERALLY heard that in church at one point.


THAT… is a lie. And it's nowhere near being Biblical.

Jesus forgives our sins. And God loves us. He wants the best for us.

He offers redemption. He offers second chances. No matter how far you’ve wandered. No matter what kind of damage you’ve done to your soul. No matter how many partners you’ve had.

God. Allows. Redemption.

And healing.

As a single Christian, I intend to guard my purity in my future relationships.

And that’s something that in today’s world sounds absurd.

And yet… my line of thinking and my beliefs align with the Bible.

“Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit who lives inside you, Whom you have received from God? You are not your own.” 1 Corinthians 6:19-20

As a follower of Christ, you are forgiven. Now sin no more.

His mercies are new each morning.

Know better and do better.

Let’s keep aiming high. And glorify God.

With our bodies. Our relationships. And in our dating.

Published by: Tara Warford

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