Can a “chase” and “challenge” really be kept up in a long-term relationship?


Student dating
They say to women that men like to chase, a challenge. If you give it up too easily every time the men lose interest. This advice really hurts me as a woman, because am I not supposed to show my enthusiasm about sex? That sucks, but if it’s the truth I would rather hear that. Also, I don’t like playing games BUT I decided to try it in my own way.

I didn’t show my desperation to him about sex (I slipped at times and did, but much much lesser than I used to). I refused him sex the last weekend, I didn’t jump at the first chance, and this is the first time I’ve done it. In the past, I would refuse then give in, this time I held my ground. I suggested to go out somewhere. We didn’t have sex. We did other sexual things he initiated in the car. And guess what - he seems more interested now. He actually suggested it yesterday in a spontaneous way AFTER a long day, but due to reasons, we couldn’t. At one point during this entire experiment, he even showed the frustration that I am not responding to his sexual advances. I am not being cruel by the way, just less forward with sexual things. He initiated all the making out etc. that we do and I did not refuse those. I just did not let it lead to full-blown sex.

But here’s the hilarious part of this entire experiment - now what? He wants me now, but when I give in and we have sex then what? I lose my power and the desire from him? Or do I keep up the endless “chase”? Can a “chase” and “challenge” really be kept up in a long-term relationship?

I was thinking of other ideas, that before we have sex I demand certain things - shower together, or a massage, etc. so that he feels he had to work for it.

Don’t know, the whole thing is just very exhausting. Why can’t men just be happy that a woman wants to jump their bones whenever she can, and why can’t they desire THAT instead of this weird hunter thing. Sorry, I’m just very frustrated and at a loss for ideas.

Has anyone done this “act like you want less sex to make the LL interested” thing and how does it work?
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