Ok, so…love is a gamble but the sooner you figure out just where you have pitched your tent the sooner you are able to make your next move in your favor. Keeper, looser, user… you need to figure out who the man in your life is to be able to decide what the long-term plan for him is going to be.

Here are a few tips that will help guide you as you discover who your man really is: 

What Position Do You Hold In His Life? 

• KEEPER – As the name suggests a keeper is a guy you want to take home to daddy. You would know he is a keeper because he is pretty good at identifying his priorities and he is quick to let you know if you are on that priority list. Ladies if he makes reasonable and justifiable adjustments to his schedule to integrate you into his life and makes himself available to be present when you need him. He’s a keeper! 

• LOSER – Remember the acronym NFA? Yep! Mr ‘No Future Ambition’ lives in this zone. His watchword is ‘let’s go with the flow’. He has no defined vision or plans for you, himself or the relationship. Your position on his priority list is highly unpredictable and always last minute. He’ll go wherever his ‘little head’ leads him. 

• USER – This one is a loser with a cause. He has no dignity or self-respect and his only aim in life is to use you to get his way. Everything must be done on his terms and the words ‘compromise’, ‘fair’ and ‘sacrifice’ is highly offensive to him in the relationship context! Don’t call him, he’ll call you if he needs you. 

Is He A Friend Indeed? 

• KEEPER – Do you feel like he would be the best person to call when you have a crisis? Does he lighten your load and give you the assurance you need when trouble calls? Can you count on him even when you have messed up knowing he will be the rock you need to stand on or the wind beneath your wings? If so, he’s a keeper; don’t let him slip through your fingers. 

• LOSER – You’ll know he is a loser if in time of crisis he is not even on the list of helpers you reach out to because you know he’s is either incapable or unwilling to take on your crisis. If he is usually the last to know what issues you are dealing with because he has no value to contribute to the situation then ladies it time to face the truth you are dating a loser. 

• USER – You know better than to tell him about your issues. This guy has already made it clear to you that it is all about him. To let him know you need his help or assistance is a burden to him. When you hear him say things like ‘you are too needy, insecure, clingy, demanding…’, ladies don’t bury your head in the sand come to the quick realisation that you are dating a user and deal with it. 

Does He Love You For Better and Worse? 

• KEEPER – So you have been dating a while now and your cracks are starting to show. You are not as perfect as he thought you were. You sulk, start fights and hell yes you turn into the jealous, paranoid green monster when there are other females are around. He doesn’t like it but he’s sticking with you and trying to help you develop into the bigger better person he believes you are! Girl this guy is not just a keeper he is a rare gem. If you don’t want him – I’ll keep him! 

• LOSER – Yeah, unfortunately, you don’t get a chance to show the not so cool side of you because you are busy dealing with his tantrums, paranoia, insecurities and empty bluffs. If this sounds familiar yet again then you already know it – LOSER! 

• USER – You are too scared to show that you have weaknesses. The user makes you feel like you are constantly auditioning for the role of superwoman in his life. If you fall short of his expectations he is quick to tell you. You don’t have time to show him your weaknesses because he has turned your relationship in a special category in the Olympics and you my dear are busy bleeding, sweating and going for gold! Pele dear!! 

Does He Involve You In His Future Plans? 

• KEEPER – Because a keeper sees you are a life partner he’ll carry you along and ask for your input as he plans his future. He’d be interested in your future plans and share his dreams with you. 

• LOSER – Because he has no future plans or dreams if he ever hears you say the words ‘next level’ be sure to hear him ask “Is that WizKids latest song?” 

• USER – Of course this lost tribe from the looser community has plans and don’t be so cynical of course they include you! You my dear are the rock in his master plan most commonly known as the stepping stone he’ll use to reach his next level! How?! So glad you asked this guy has no problem taking the next girl to that fancy restaurant you introduced him to or wear the clothes you bought him on a date with another female and most common of all drive your car around the town to pick up other chics! USER!!! 

Can You Take His Word To The Bank? 

• KEEPER – If he says it he will do it. His word is as good as gold. He says what he means and means what he says. 

• LOSER – Broken promises galore! Need I say more? 

• USER – This smooth talking son of a skunk will build up your dreams with lies and tales that you won’t be able to let go of even after he has shown you that his word is not worth half a rotten apple!
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