Being a lady is already tough in today’s world, then add to that the inadequacy we’ve got in so many areas and having been looked at as the weaker sex for so long, one wonders what’s left to be proud of?

Even with all the active feminist movements locally and globally, you’ll agree with me that there’s still tons of work left to be done. Whether you’re dating or not, you’re in some sort of relationship with other people either at work, church or other social circles

Every now and then women are subtly coerced to either make an apology or accept second place because of something different about them or their status in life. Many women are taking the challenge to let nothing stop them from whatever they set their mind to achieve

So don’t blame yourself or feel pressured to apologize if:

You Put Yourself First 

Many women who work spend a huge percentage of their incomes supporting their children, siblings, and extended family. Even when they can’t really afford it, there’s so much pressure especially if they are the first the break the ceiling in securing a good job. Even those who are married aren’t left out as they continue to bear burdens they never planned for. Sadly a few men haven’t kept their side of the bargain by providing adequately for their family and with that comes the strain and stress on the woman. Don’t feel bad to put yourself first every time you get your paycheck. Take our time and hang out with friends and leave the kids under your spouse’s supervision. Spoil yourself at the spa and get a relaxing massage and a nice pedicure. We take care of everyone except ourselves and even when we are tired or ill, we’re still giving our time. You aren’t obliged to provide any explanation of how you spend your time and cash for yourself. Many older women will tell you of those regrets had they taken care of themselves, you don’t want to end up like that.

It’s That Time Of The Month 

Everyone knows something is going on just about the same time each month when your moods begin to change. For some, they’ve got lots of aches and pain, others feel drowsy and tired, a few extreme cases will need bed rest for a week. Whatever your case is, we’ve all got our coping mechanism. It’s very insensitive when you work with a team that can’t read or see the telltale signs and makes you feel bad when you’re not 100%. Some in-laws might even schedule parties and require you to attend irrespective of how you feel. You had no choice in the first place being a woman and you don’t have to feel bad when you’re not up to it. State your case and leave it there.

Never apologize for being Miss Independent 

Even though the times have changed, many guys haven’t moved on. There are still tons of them that still look down on ladies who work, make their own cash and are independent. If you’re dating someone that’s insecure about you being independent he may just start to act strangely and may even break up with you. Others who end up getting married to these insecure guys will have to be subservient and caged. Most times it’s a ‘control’ issue, these guys want to be in control of your cash, time and lifestyle. Dot get stuck with someone who’s struggling with his failure. Some people say ladies who own their house, car, and cash may not get married, it’s a myth as the average guy is threatened they won’t be able to ‘control’ them. You don’t want a control freak, you want someone who will accept you anyway and even challenge to maximize your potential.

Never apologize for Making More Money 

If you chat with any guy about this delicate topic of their spouse earning more cash than they do, the undertone you get isn’t really whose cash is more but how they’ll be treated if theirs was less. It’s still a control issue, some guys believe if they earned more their spouses would respect them but it doesn’t always work that way. Women have an attitude when they are struggling with insecurity. We try to outdo others, we talk a lot and constantly on the edge comparing ourselves with others. If your spouse was earning more than you when you got married and a few years later you are bringing more bacon home, don’t feel bad about it, stay humble and look for more ways to support the kids and the home. If you’re dating and it’s obvious to him you earn more and he’s suggesting you stop working when you get married to take care of the kids, don’t wait for another second, join the next train and move on

Never apologize for being You 

Sometimes it’s even the guys in our lives that put pressure on us to make decisions we really aren’t comfortable with. We are so insecure that we spend hours unending checking out what the latest trends are and keeping up with all that. First and foremost don’t hang around anyone, guy or girlfriend who makes you uncomfortable and won’t accept you for who you are – your style, opinions, and choices. We aren’t perfect and there’s always room for improvement but when you are always making compromises on your core values to impress someone then it’s time to halt and ask yourself where this will get you to. Many folks struggling with hypertension will tell you part of what’s contributed to it is living their lives to please people and keeping up with the Joneses. Learn when to say no, pull back from the crowd and create a niche that’s comfortable for you

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